5 dating app tips that are (almost) all about the apps – Android Police | Hot Mobile Press

Selena Gomez, one of the great philosophers of our time, once said that the heart wants what it wants. Of course, the head is a whole different animal, and there are a lot of priorities to juggle, but finding love is certainly in there somewhere. In the age of the internet, that means dating apps. They are places turned upside down, because what, or rather who Getting you out of these apps may not match the effort you put in. Sometimes that effort also involves a good amount of money. Well, I’m not dear Abby, but I think it’s worth taking the time to figure out some principles for using these services before attempting to find your next friend, bedfellow, or life partner.


I’ve been with the apps for 8+ years – OKCupid and Hinge mostly – and while I haven’t found The One™ yet, I’ve had some success and a lot of experience with dating apps. I used to get a one month membership off and on when it was only $10. However, that’s definitely not the case anymore: Match Group, which owns both OKC and Hinge, as well as more than a dozen others, has accelerated monetization in recent years by offering one-time visibility boosts in sort stacks while increasing the price of those feature-rich memberships at $40 for a single month. And sure, there might be some extras you’re willing to pay for, but how exactly do you plan on dating when you’re nickel and dimed before your first date?

filter bubbles

Figuring out what you want from the other person can be fun, especially if you have a you-versus-the-world mentality. Filters are your way of doing this. Most of them will be the same in all apps, such as sexuality, age, drug and alcohol habits, distance, politics and religion. The thing is, different apps may require you to pay to use them in a certain way. Attach direct paywall filters like height, education, and family plans behind expensive Preferred membership. OKCupid is a little different: it opens you up every filter it has, but then allows you to select the most important ones as “deal breakers” when you buy a basic membership ($30 for a single month). And that sucks because the app made feeding suggestions that were outside of my “preferred” age range.

When you’re in the general dating marketplace, it’s easy to switch between apps and gain more control over your experience. However, if you’re on the “narrowcast” apps like BLK, Jdate, or Her, things get a lot harder and you may have to compromise or fall back on the mainstream options.

Ultimately, you are the last line of defense. You face these cards. Take some time and make sure you like people on it.

Alarming assessments

Didn’t I tell you to take some time? Pooh. I blame Tinder for popularizing the modern design language for dating apps, but in all honesty, most of our digital culture, which involves reading and processing images, inherently drives the attention span toward the vanishing point . Hinge, Coffee Meet Bagel, and a few others might be exceptions to the rule that emphasizes the linear profile reading experience, but I get it: you don’t have half an hour a day for that. Conversely, you only have seconds to make an impression. So, yes, you have to be tactical and just a little performative.

Get your best solo pic on top and make sure you have a good mix in your squad — you with friends, you on a trip, you at work, you’re all yourself. Don’t mess around half dozen shots from the same bathroom with different filters. Keep your blurbs short but just as punchy. Don’t say you’re being sarcastic, show it. You probably don’t need to tell people you’re an animal person or that you love sports and beer unless you can define it (whoa, you own 20 cats?). Find two sentences to write about yourself that deviate the least from the mainstream. Jokes are a good idea, but only if you know how to write them.

Opening yourself to these apps means you have to start with low standards. The less you write overall, the fewer people will either forget or ignore it. You will gradually explore your similarities and their secrets. Just remember to make it clear that you want more when you do this and start raising the bar or cutting the bait.

Invest in yourself

I mentioned that I used to spend a chunk of change on an in and out membership. Depending on what you get with that membership, I would recommend you the same, even at current prices for most of these services. I wouldn’t work towards saving money for them as a goal only if a fancy dinner at your place is cancelled.

Don’t pay for a membership to see who likes you. They’re going to run into you in your recommendation stack anyway, so go with your gut (or heart, whatever). Opt for the visibility boosts so you have more chances to be seen at the right time. Do the same for the additional match filters, more features in chat, and access to finer profile settings.

Don’t rush the app

As cynical as I can be about these apps, they also provide a fairly closed and limited environment for communicating with strangers who you may or may not want to become intimate with. Because of this, I hesitate to recommend integrating your social media presence or deleting your handles in your bio. I would recommend Discord or a similar messaging app as a relatively anonymous side-by-side platform if you want to share personal pictures or add to your existing friend groups but otherwise might save your phone number or Facebook contact after Ideally the first date. Of course, depending on your personal belief and trust that you have built in your partner, your mileage may vary.

Communicate Your Commitments (All. Of. Them.)

I am writing this in 2022 and we are seeing rampant inflation at levels not seen in 40 years. Maybe you go shopping less often or to your favorite restaurant. Do you think you can add to the expense of a relationship? Again, we’re talking about investing time and money to travel and hang out with your partner.

Good communication is the be-all and end-all of any relationship, but finances can sometimes be shaky. I think that’s the one facet to address when deciding how to spend your time with someone you like. Make sure you know what’s going on with your budget and theirs, including some of those nasty external factors (well, outside of things you haven’t talked about yet) like income and upcoming bills. Maybe you’re all okay with the day-to-day chat and support of one another, but if you’re not into long-distance relationships, just know you’re going for it.

Prepare to feel Feelings™

You put yourself out there as a person who wants to be loved for who you are. “Out there” is a multitude of people. There are ups and downs, but there’s also just the fatigue of having to interact with people. You go through the introductory mishmash with your prospect while carrying hopes in your pocket, and they can weigh heavily whether you realize it or not. Dating and longing for romantic fulfillment are very different things. You are in control of one of them. Take a break when you need it and try to enjoy it when you’re active.

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